Facebook Message

1 admi ki wife mar gai. Dost

usko chup karne ke baad :

" Tujhe kuch chahye ?"

Admi : 

" Laptop la de."

Dost :

" Kyun khair ?"

Admi :

" Facebook pe status

to single kardun." ;p

Funny Message

Ye sun kar to mere hosh hi

urr gaye,

Faraz..

Jab kam wali masi light jane par

aik dum se boli :

" What the hell is going on man,

plz start the generator."

(-_-)>

/>< /O

O teri khair,

english medium masi :D ;p

Businessman Message

A failed businessman to his

fat wife :

" You are my only investment

in Life that has doubled." :D

Funny Message

Aisa admi jo ghalti pe ho aur

maafi maang le usey

" Aqalmand "

kehte hain aur

Aisa shakhs jo ghalti pe bhi

na ho magar phir bhi maafi

maang le usey

" Husband "

kehte hain :D

College Message

An old man went to college

that he studies at. Knocked 

the door of room #3 of the

hostel and said :

May I come in ? I have lived in

this room 30 years ago.

A young man opened the door

and let him enter.

The old man examined the

room and recalling everything

said :

The same old room, same old

wooden table, ventilator and same

old window that opens into the garden

and the same old bed.

While examining bed, he found

a young girl hiding under the

bed.

The young man got alarmed and

said :

Don't be mistaken. She is my sister.

She lost her earrings and is searching

for that.

Old man said :

And the same Old Story. :)

Women Message

Women was taken out of

man

 not out of his head to

top him

nor out of his feet to

be trampled underfoot

but out of his side to be

equal to him,

under his arms to be

protected and near his

heart to be loved !

Man-Woman Message

When a man holds a

woman's hand before

marriage,

it is Love.

But...

When he holds it

after marriage,

Its

Self-Defense ! :D

True Message

Woman's tongue and

man's eye,

.

.

.

.

Relax only,

when they die !

Ladies First Message

The story behind 

" Ladies First."

Long ago, a man & woman

were madly in Love. They

wanted to marry. Parents did

not approved. They decided to

suicide together & planned to

jump from mountain. The man

could not bear to see his

sweetheart fall.

He convinced her that he will

jump first. He jumped.

The kameeni never jumped.

Thereafter all men decided

" Ladies First." ;p

Funny Message

Man to his 22 years old Wife

after their 1st night :

" You didn't make any noise

like ahh, aah, uhh, ooouucchhh 

during make out."

Wife : I stopped that silly

habit when I was 16. :D

Suicide Message

Aik aadmi Library gaya aur

Khud kushi par book

maangi.

Librarian ne aik nazar usay

dekha aur pocha :

Bhai ye book wapis kon

karne ayega ?

Funny Message

Judge : Kya proof hai ke tum

car speed mein nahi chala

rahe the ?

Man : Sir, main apni biwi ko lene

susraal jaa raha tha...

Judge : That's all, case dismissed. :D

Facebook Funny Message

Maulvi sahab was online on facebook.

Aadmi : Maulvi sahab, kal mere bete ne

cigarette pi aur jab mene usse mara

to usne meri shirt phaar di.

Maulvi Sahab : Lolz... ;p

Funny Message

" There will be plenty of time to

sleep when you are dead,

Life is for living so wake up &

Perform !!"

- Benjamin Franklin.

Buddha pagal tha

tu so jaa! :)

Islamic Message

Jannat ki aurton aur hooron ki khas

khubi ye hai ke woh nigahein neeche

rakhne wali hain.

( Surah-e-Rehman )

Aur apni zaib-o-zeenat zahir na

karein siwae uske jo azkhud zahir

ho jaye.

( Surah-e-Noor )

Agar tum Allah se darne wali ho to baat

mein naram andaaz na ikhtiyar karo ke

dil ki kharabi mein mubtala koi shakhs

lalach mein parr jaye.

( Surah-e-Ahzab ).

Mad Man Message

Pagal to Sikh : Tum Musalman lagte ho.

Sikh : Nahi, main Sikh hun.

Pagal : Nahi tum Musalman ho.

Sikh : Nahi, main sikh hun.

Pagal : Nahi tum Musalman hi ho.

Sikh : Nahi yar, main sikh hi hun.

Pagal : Nahi tum Musalman hi ho.

Sikh ghusse se : Han han main Musalman hun.

Pagal : Lagte to Sikh ho.. :D

Hadith Message

Hadees sharif...

1- Raat ka khana na choro.

Chahe 1 meethi khajoor kyun 

na ho.

Kyun ke raat ka khana chorna 

admi ko zaeef kar deta hai.

( Ibn-e-Maja).

2- Khauf mein tanhai mein rone

ke siwa koi bhi cheez Allah ki

narazgi ko nahi mita sakti.

3- Allah us shakhs ko abaad rakhta hai

jo Hadees sun ke dosron tak pochaye.

Jazak Allah.

Girl-Boy Message

Girl to Boy :
" Main us admi se shadi karungi

jo mujhse batein karta rahe

magar mujhe samajh hi na aye."

Boy :

" To phir Chaudhry Shujaat

Hussin se shadi karlo."

:D

Peace Message

A man asked God :
" I want Peace."

God replied :
" Remove the ' I '

this is Ego."

" Remove the ' Want '

that is desire."

& " Peace " will be

automatically

Yours.

Parrot Message

1 admi shop pe tota lene gaya, usne dekha totey ke dono paun pe aik blue aur red dori bandhi hai.

Admi ne blue dori khinchi to tota bola

" Assalam O Alaikum."

Red dori khinchi to tota bola

" Kya haal hain apke?"

Admi ne dono dori ek sath khinchi to tota bola...

" Haramipan mat kar,

Gir jaunga." :D